The French couple whose surprise proposal on Times Square I documented back in 2019 not only fought back the COVID cancelations but also stayed true to having me cover their countryside chateau wedding in France. See how this French wedding differed from an American. It’s a long read, so grab a glass of Pinot Noir and enjoy!
Out of Silence
A housekeeping note first: I published my previous blog almost three months ago! There is a reason for such a long break—I jumped on a business project that took a massive effort akin to my regular winter projects. I normally tackle them during the slowest months to keep myself busy when shooting less. Such were redesigning my website and developing a massive CRM ecosystem that went far beyond the basics to integrate over 10 other business tools which most of my peers use separately. The latest project was also about adopting a key business photography tool within my website, which, unexpectedly, forced me to switch from a standard web hosting to self-managed VPS to meet higher performance demands. I plan on telling that story later.
I hope to catch up with some of cool missed blogs now that the 3-month-long VPS saga is over. Remarkably, that last blog was also about a couple that had their wedding delayed because of COVID, but the bride’s dream fairytale wedding with a horse carriage and a French chateau (but in Pennsylvania) prevailed. My French couple didn’t get a horse carriage, but let’s see how many other cute French things happened, making this quite a read for my American audience. Enjoy!
Unrefusable Offers
Axel’s surprise proposal on Times Square in early 2019 was well covered in my other blog. I also wrote about the miraculous story of this photographer and TED speaker’s life. What I omitted in that blog is that as we were concluding our proposal-turned-engagement session and rode the NYC subway, I sat across from them sneaking the candid moments of irresistible happiness and love. At some point, they started whispering and then, with a visibly thrilled look on their faces, asked if I’d consider shooting their wedding in France. Recalling the famous quote from “The Godfather”, I accepted the offer while honestly not fully believing it’d work out.
I have already shot in 17 countries, mostly weddings. There was a job in France, too, but it was an all-day romance session in Nice and Monte Carlo for a spectacular Indian married couple. There were no weddings in France yet and the guys dreamed of one in the Alps! What do you know, we secured it in February 2020!
COVID Woes
And then you-know-what happened the next month… Cancelations hit the entire gig industry. Cindy and Axel’s wedding was set for July 2021, seemingly far, so we kept our fingers crossed. Things got better in 2021, but they still had to cancel the first venue because of COVID limitations. Looking for another place, they pledged to keep me around. Months later, the new date was set for October 2022. It wasn’t on the mountain lake anymore, but it was in a castle!
Chateau Wedding in France
Welcome to Château de Saint-Sixt. Nestled in the picturesque countryside between Annecy and Geneva, the castle was built in 1349. It was inherited from generations to generations, and then in 1936, transferred from the Saint-Sixt family to Anthonioz family who still owns it.
Kindly refrain from re-uploading images to social media during the first week of the exclusive feature. Share instead and give credit to @ZorzStudios. Thank you for your help!
Getting ready, the ceremony, and the reception took place in three different places within the castle grounds.
I started where most of the action was—the future reception site—and that action was not created by third parties but by the families themselves. This chateau wedding in France was the DIY kind and reminded me of my surprise elopement wedding in Moldova in 2015. We also had our family members create and decorate the experience. When you have devoted and handy friends, why not make it as personal as possible? The flowers were from Sessile but seemed to be arranged by the families. The cool photo booth was by Boly but looked like a self-setup. There was a live saxophone and DJ, but a friend was preparing some equipment and served as an MD later. I loved that vibe. It really involved and showed the love and care for the couple. You know, like the Amish village gets together to build a new house for the newlyweds.
Getting Ready
Once everything was in place, the couple went into the castle’s room to get ready. The bridal suite, as well as the adjacent dining room, as well as any other room in this chateau, was filled with the museum-quality artifacts. Many were replicas, of course, but having an ancient world map or medieval tapestry as a backdrop for your dress or flowers is a rare treat. Makeup and hair were beautifully done by Cindy Passaquay. Look at that individual makeup chart!
Cindy’s father was a gem. That brutal look is very deceiving. He’s irresistibly approachable and fun. I tried to pull off a savage “father of the bride” look, but he just ruined it by bursting into laughter. The entire family (parents and three children) have the word “Ohana” tattooed on their wrists. It’s Hawaiian for “family”.
Axel got ready in his room and the guys did not see each other before the ceremony. By the way, he’s a Porsche aficionado. It’s in his family. Oh, and friends… They must run some club and brought it to the wedding, too!
The Witnesses
Unlike in the US, there is no “bridal party” (bridesmaids and groomsmen) in France and most of Europe—a very familiar concept to me. Instead, we should have two witnesses. Think of “maid of honor” and “best man”. In France, they are called témoins and bear a legal role during the separate civil Mairie ceremony. Even when there are over two witnesses, it is not customary for them to wear the same dresses or follow a color theme. Most of the time, they wear what they want. What we call “bridal party”, plus father of the bride, mother of the groom, flower/ring children, and witnesses’ partners, are known as le cortège.
The groom’s witness, by the way, got married just recently, and Axel was his witness. And the other witness just looked so movie poster ready in that map shot!
The Ceremony
This chateau wedding in France had the ceremony in a cozy wooden building that looks like a chapel, with the big windows overlooking the woods. A very close person to Axel’s family, Jean-Marc conducted it. He even calls him “second dad”. Alas, without knowing French, I can’t attest to what he was saying, but it sounded like a very heartwarming and humorous ceremony. Also, there were cute speeches by the special people that you’d hear at the reception in the US.
And that rose ceremony! I tried researching online and could not find the background story. Maybe someone can shed the light in the comments? Quite a few guests (I counted about 12 roses) would approach the couple and move a flower from one vase to another, accompanying the gesture with a few words and a warm hug, sometimes rather emotionally.
Then the vows came, and a ring bearer delivered the rings in a (what else?) vroom-vroom style. The ring exchange and a kiss sealed the deal.
Portraits
Now comes a sad part. Artistically sad, not more. So we’re in the mountains, right? In a countryside surrounded by horses, tractors, the woods, and the low-flying clouds hugging the mountain slopes. A dream setup for any photographer picturing some epic wedding photos in the Alps. The forecast had me adjust that vision the day before, but the morning was still leaving a bit of hope. However, it got worse for the after-ceremony portraits. Not only did it bring down the heavy clouds which completely hid the surrounding landscape, but it also rained, making the ground muddy. The couple didn’t want to venture out a lot. I just did a few portraits in the backyard.
I was artistically compensated by the energy and coolness of the family members whose “formal” portraits came next. I did those, of course, but felt a greater potential. I tried to push them outside that formal box and didn’t they run there!
Reception (And How You Can Be Uninvited)
Everyone returned to the reception site, and the party began! Now, let me say a few words about the local “cocktail hour”. For this chateau wedding In France, as most others there, it is referred to as the vin d’honneur (“wine of honor”). Now, get this: in France, you can invite some people to the standing cocktail hour but not to the sitting dinner (and the rest of reception). And those people will know they need to leave before others sit at their tables. No hard feelings!
Here’s the good reasoning here. Imagine you can afford 100 guests for the dinner but it’s so hard to keep the list limited, right?! You have 300 friends and distant relatives who you’d still want to see at your wedding! For them, is it better to not be invited at all than having a way to see the newlyweds and mingle with the crowd while enjoying the drinks and lots of hors d’oeuvres? And mind you, that cocktail hour lasts for several hours, too!
The invitations are properly crafted to show what part of a wedding you’re invited to. By the way, you’d think those invitations are called RSVP, right? After all, doesn’t it mean “Please respond” in French (Répondez s’il vous plaît)? Many French people wouldn’t know what you mean by sending an RSVP. They call those faire-part.
Here’s what our couple seemed to do. They just made the cocktail hour last through the end! There was no formal sitting portion later in the evening. There were tables in the peripheral on the second floor for those who needed them, but they weren’t assigned and mostly rotated. The bulk of the people hung out on the main floor with the constant flow of appetizers.
Throwing the Bouquet (Kinda)
This chateau wedding in France has more things to contrast with an American. Let’s look at the next thing: tossing the bouquet. Many French brides don’t do it. Instead, they tie multicolor ribbons to it and form a big circle with unmarried ladies holding the ends. Then the bride cuts ribbons randomly until one is left. That’s the equivalent of catching the bouquet! The friends cheered the unsuspected boyfriend of hers.
Friendly Shows
Here comes another non-American tradition that is hugely popular in Europe and South Asia, as seen in many Indian weddings I covered. My wedding had it, I’ve seen lots of videos from the post-Soviet arena, and I even put together an article on my website on this: crowd-sourced entertainment. Americans are lazy, shy, or unimaginative here. What I mean is an enthusiastic group of friends take it on themselves to prepare a show or two. It could be dancing, singing, role-playing, quiz games, charades, and anything that makes the crowd laugh or even take part. The goal is to make the wedding uniquely memorable besides the location.
Their friends put together a gently mocking story via signs. Must have been hysterical. I was the only guy who wasn’t getting it… Just standing there with a silly, polite smile on my face. I surely appreciated the effort and wish more of the US weddings tapped on the creative minds among the guests besides listening to an MD or doing the usual shoe game. Check out that article of mine, I collected some ideas for you.
The photobooth is a universal good-timer, of course. At some point it stopped working, so the team bride rushed to the rescue.
There was also a creative video presentation made of clips from lots of friends and family, involving a paper ball thrown from scene to scene. Then, guests were interviewing each other on the professional video camera, making it so effortless and authentic! And some stand with attached pictures… meant to be played with somehow. I dunno what that was, the point is people know how to have fun other than dancing while intoxicated.
Dancing
Nothing wrong with slightly drunk dancing, of course! Back to the DIY topic: father of the bride jumped behind the bar to help the bartender (also a wedding guest!). He was fire.
Yeah, there appeared to be some French folk songs that really got the crowd going. There was an expressive M. Jackson’s Thriller dance and Rednex’ Cotton Eye Joe for which they collectively went into a “tunnel dance”. Judging by how quickly they did it, it must be a common French take on that American-sounding song performed by a Swedish band.
I loved the mix of colored light and occasional smoke at the party. It gave me some creative moments to catch:
Another intriguing area for me was that bar stand. As I looked at people in the rectangular opening, I couldn’t help thinking of the American painter Edward Hopper and his “Nighthawks”. Here’s my tribute:
Sweet Love
As things wrapped up, desserts were brought out. One last interesting contrast: French weddings rarely see a wedding cake. Instead, they build a la pièce montée (“mounted piece”)—a carefully crafted pyramid of cookies, macarons, or other sweets. Alternatively, a croquembouche can be created out of choux pastry profiteroles. In both cases, the higher, the better! They are very difficult to cut, though, so often the newlyweds just pick a piece from the top. Our love birds took another approach by using stands with donuts.
And here are the guys who also covered the event: two videographers of OW and a photographer Geoffrey, Axel’s friend.
This touching chateau wedding in France was full of discoveries and new experiences had to end, sadly… As I was bidding my farewells to the couple, they rushed to a table with party favors. One had my name (well, a nickname—they insist on calling me “Zorz”)! Look at that lovely time bottle with a handwritten message! My deepest appreciation and love for you, guys! It was a delight to be with you on that day, thank you for the honor!
Vive les jeunes mariés!
Thanks and Credits
Venue: Château de Saint-Sixt (@chateaudesaintsixt)
Makeup and hair: Cindy Passaquay (@nuances_par_cindy)
Bridal dress: Le Dressing des Mariées (@ledressingdesmariees)
Groom’s suit: Sandro Paris (@sandroparis)
Rings: Chavany (@chavanybijouterie)
Flowers: Sesille (@sessile_fleurs)
Catering: Traiteur du Salève (@letraiteurdusaleve)
Donuts: Ginger Donuts (@gingerdonutsgva)
Dj, Sax, sound and light: Bruno Barkats (@brunobarkatssax)
Photobooth: Boly (@bolyevent)
Video: OW (@owlovevideo)
2nd photographer: Geoffray Chantelot (@geoffraychantelot), no images used here
Photo: Zorz Studios (@zorzstudios)
